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Tips to stop blaming your child

Parents believe that using the method of blame and threat is beneficial in raising the child, and that the best way of education is cruelty, and therefore the educational process fails when the parents follow the wrong method, and therefore there is what is known as indirect education, which leaves its impact on the child and achieves positive and tangible results on the ground. Therefore, “My Lady and Your Child”, in an exclusive interview with her, met with the educational counselor, Arif Abdullah, who referred to important advice so that mothers and fathers would stop blaming children, as follows:

When he scattered his toys

Don’t blame him directly when you scatter toys
  • Babies often like the mess when they play with toys scattered all over the place, but leaving those toys uncollected is what annoys the mother.
  • Therefore, the mother often gets angry and nervous when she sees this scene, and therefore she says to her child in a threatening tone, which means that she will throw all the toys in the garbage and will deprive the child of them because he does not collect them after playing with them.
  • But it is correct for the mother to tell her child as if she agrees with him or makes an agreement that she will deprive him of toys and will give him only one toy if he does not collect it.
  • This method of education will work because the child loves his toys and considers them his best friends who are indispensable.

Learn more: The disadvantages of lack of communication between parents and children

When you walk with him in public

Don’t threaten to leave him in the middle of the road
  • When the mother goes out with her child, she is afraid of dangers, whether on the road or in public places, and when he is with her in a shopping center, she fears that he will be lost and lost.
  • Therefore, she is always associated with him and threatens him that there are thieves or criminals who will kidnap him if he gets away from her.
  • This method of threatening is considered one of the wrong methods that affect the personality of the child in the future.
  • Therefore, it is preferable for the mother to tell her child that if he escapes her hand, it will be difficult for them to reach the place they want together.
  • She must also tell him that she will let go of his hand and let him move freely when they are in a safe and closed place.

Learn more: Your guide to invalidating your child’s arguments.. to escape from studying

When doing homework

Not turning the solution of the duty into a punishment
  • Most mothers often follow the threat method when solving homework, and the method is the threat of deprivation of money or leaving the house, for example.
  • The threat is also these days that it will hide tablets from his hands, such as the Playstation, the Tab, and others.
  • All of these methods are not useful and make the child hate studying and doing homework.
  • The mother has to follow a different method, such as telling the child that solving the duties is the responsibility of the child, just as the mother is responsible for the housework or going out to work, and the father’s responsibility is to work and spend.
  • Therefore, the mother should remind the child that when he reviews his lessons on a regular basis, he will get a quiet and successful weekend, unlike the vacation in which duties accumulate.

Why should the mother stop blaming and threatening?

Blame is a wrong educational method
  • Blame and threaten method exposes the child to a constant sense of danger.
  • The child does not achieve psychological balance because he is constantly threatened and feels that he is being watched all the time.
  • Likewise, when the child finds alternatives in the mother and father, he is of an orderly and mature mindset
  • The mother can maintain her emotional stability if blame is not used constantly.

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